Hello, W.D. Wilcox!
INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
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I enjoyed reading your biography here at Writing.Com.
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Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.
MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:
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Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I saw your biography before and wanted to readit, but didn't have time to read or review it right then, so I flagged it for an anniversary review (meaning I saved the link to it in a special "September" file.
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). I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting.
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My favorite part was the picture of you and your kids. You all looked so happy and connected! They clearly adored you and were very comfortable with you.
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I was surprised (in a good way) by the first paragraph. I guess I figured Los Angeles was always a dangerous place. It's great to know that there was a time that it was safe and kids could play freely outside and that there were shared parenting standards and people got along well.
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Your grandparents sounded like great people. I loved what she did with the cracked eggs.
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Yes, this change is very sad. "Back then, it seemed, everyone helped each other out. There was a feeling of love and understanding that, since then, has disappeared." There's an area I want to move to. People say it's like it was back then, friendliness wise. I know whenever we visit, I can smile and wave to everyone and almost everyone smiles and waves back. It's really nice. Where I actually live, if I wave or smile at a stranger, they act like I'm either crazy or dangerous. I'm just friendly.
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The San Joaquin Valley sounds beautiful. I lived in central California for a while and loved all the fresh produce and local farms and various produce festivals that happened throughout the year.
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How awesome that you had your own pony named Dolly! I never had the opportunity to ride or pet one when I was little, at least that I recall, but I would have loved it. We did share our home with cats and dogs though, and they were fabulous.
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Wow! Ten years old and driving! My brothers would have loved that! Probably I would too. Though I'm not sure I was brave enough to drive a tractor at ten.
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Yay for Mrs. Robinson! I'm so glad you had such an inspiring teacher.
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I can't even imagine what it would be like to have been alive when the Beatles arrived in America. I don't think I even heard of them until I was in high school and that was at some throwback party. That's a real part of history! How cool that they inspired you to learn the guitar and you took to it so well. You have had quite a lot of interesting experiences.
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I love that you clearly love your wife and children and that all four of your daughters also love to write! Are they members here?
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I imagine Washington state is a lot more affordable than California. I wondered if that was why you moved?
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I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your biography.
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I thought the genres you selected were perfect for this biography of yours.
IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.
Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!
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Your writing is fantastic. The only change I'd make is to add that lovely picture of you and your kids as a thumbnail too. It'd probably make it stand out more in your portfolio and in any relevant searches.
CONCLUSION:
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I greatly enjoyed reading your biography. Thank you for writing it and posting it here.
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Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, history, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!
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Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!
May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler
A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review!
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