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Review #4772352
Viewing a review of:
 Spaceshot Open in new Window. [E]
Three Minute Read
by Jacky Author Icon
Review of Spaceshot  Open in new Window.
Review by Gratefully IE Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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IE here with a review of "Spaceshot" Open in new Window.

First impression:

I read your short story with interest. There’s an urgency throughout your piece, appropriate to what is taking place within the story.

Favorite bit:

Sam closed his eyes again, trying hard not to smile.


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammer/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted

*Writing*I did want to point out a couple of run-on sentences. I’m guilty of these, too, but invite you to break them up into sentences.

For instance:

“You could’a flipped us, you don’t wanna know what it’s like to flip this bucket, I’ve done it! Just relax, this isn’t rocket science, well,” he chuckled, “actually it sorta is...”

Could be broken up thusly: “You coulda flipped us. You don’t wanna know what it’s like to flip this bucket.” Sam shakes his head. “I’ve done it! Just relax; this isn’t rocket science…” he chuckled. “Well actually, it sorta is…”

And

They had to get to Teptune, and land, if Sam didn’t come to, Andy would have to do it himself.

Perhaps like this: “They had to get to Teptune and land. If Sam didn’t come to, Andy would have to do it himself.”

In summation:

Trial by fire, eh? Sometimes that’s the fastest way to learn.

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work. I urge you to continue honing your skill.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*

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