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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4772256
Review #4772256
Viewing a review of:
 Tidbits of Experience Open in new Window. [E]
Prose Poetry wrapped in experience.
by William MacPoetry Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Angel&Witch



Hello William MacPoetry Welcome to WDC! *Type*
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The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon
Review! *Angelic*

I found your item while perusing the "Read A Newbie" page.

Initial Thoughts:

I like your title. It has the strength of personal knowledge earned and learned through many years of life. That alone hooked me into reading your prose-poem. *Broom*

Further Thoughts:

Your lines are wonderfully woven with life's little adjustments as one ages. Yes, early on the need to be "cool" and to fit into a group is usually how the youth feel. Popularity is important. No one wants to feel like an outcast. Thankfully, we grow in time and begin to find our own unique qualities necessary for our success in the workplace. And, to feel normal and comfortable with who we are. It's all a learning experience. *ButtonForward*

As we age, we tend to let go of the group mind set and explore life from more personal view. We enjoy the small things we've missed while running in the rat race. Taking a walk and exploring what nature has to offer. (My interpretation based on your poem. I let my mind wander into my personal experiences over the years as I read this.)

Observations/Suggestions:

"bank & launch" Write out "and" rather than using "&" which distracts from the line.

"But that’s OK," Write out the word "okay it keeps the poem connected to the lines around it without that informality. It blends better with the profound thoughts you've expressed.

Parting Thoughts:

I loved the way you expressed the differences between youthful needs and the realization that as you get old none of that group inclusion and need for popularity matters.

Loved these lines:

"I’ll take my chances on the far outside edges.
I happen to know the guy throwing the bread –"

Very powerful way to wrap up the difference from young to old.

Conclusion:

Great ending!
"loves fois gras." It made me grin! *Bigsmile*

Good job! *Web4*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch






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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/30/2024 @ 12:44pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4772256