*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4771718
Review #4771718
Viewing a review of:
 Heart In Shambles.  [E]
I love people who I know won't love me. I want what I won't get. And that hurts.
by rena♡
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I've found your item using the Random Read and Review button.

Phew, this is a heavy poem with touches of Gothic horror, at least in my mind (I'm not into horror...)

You open by describing your fragile heart and mind in terms of glass and porcelain, and then walk over the wreckage of them barefoot, leaving behind a sorry mess of hurt feelings and unhappiness as you strive to obtain the unobtainable.

The metaphors are striking and memorable, used to highlight your pain and bring your feelings to light. Your free verse is carefully balanced and easy to read.

With such vivid expression, I would suggest you enter this into some of the poetry contests around here, such as "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"  as well as "Fox's Socks Newbie Poetry Contest" .

I don't usually have much to suggest for improving people's poetry, especially if it's a personal type of theme as this appears to be. Meter and syllables are something that drive me crazy when I'm writing poetry, and they don't matter as much in free verse anyway.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4771718