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Review #4770411
Viewing a review of:
 Johnny’s Little Pistol Open in new Window. [E]
A famous historic event from an unexpected viewpoint.
by Yesmrbill Author Icon
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I don’t think I’ve read a story from the point of view of an object before. I remember a contest with that prompt a few years ago and I wonder if this story was written for it. It sounded like a cool idea, and you certainly did a good job with it, if it was written for that contest. When I saw the title, I expected the story to be more lighthearted than it was, but when I started reading, I realised quite quickly what pistol this actually was, so it wasn’t a humorous story.

I liked how the pistol introduced itself, describing what it looked like and how it ‘sounded’. You gave it a bit of personality there, and it came across like it didn’t want to be mistaken for a small, ineffectual tool but a powerful weapon.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I thought the story was well written and the descriptions were excellent. The only thing I wasn’t sure about was how the pistol could describe the setting and the people so clearly, being that it was hidden for most of the story and only got taken out towards the end. Had Johnny been carrying it in his hand (which of course wasn’t possible), the pistol could have ‘seen’ all those things, but since it was concealed, it could only have heard the voices or footsteps. I think this could be fixed if you said where it was hidden, and mentioned a hole in the pocket or something like that which it could see through. But maybe I’m taking this too literally *Smile*


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

The way you set the scene and took your time getting to the main event worked well to raise the tension. Of course the readers knew where this would be going, but you didn’t rush there. Instead, you included details that let the readers know a little about Johnny. My favourite line was, While he is not listed as a performer in this Play; he will have a part in it tonight; the only part that will be remembered, throughout all time. You came back to that thought in the last couple of lines when the pistol claimed a little of that ‘fame’ for itself. A great story!




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