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 Review #4765331 |
 | King of the House Elves, Chapter 1  [ASR] Aira, a brownie servant girl, learns that her father is in danger.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"   First Impressions: I read "Invalid Item" first before I started this chapter so I would have some idea what it would be about. There was a lot in this chapter - a parallel faerie world, faeries that can alter their height at will, and a kraken that attacked their kingdom - and you explained it all very skilfully so the readers could imagine the setting and the characters in it from the start. As a first chapter, I thought this worked well. The story is obviously going to be quite involved so you had to make sure that the readers understood who the characters were and what challenge they would be facing.  Suggestions: I’m pretty sure you’re not interested in edits because this story is published (and in the published version, this error is probably fixed anyway) but I noticed one little typo: Meg gave Maggie and ecstatic squeeze. It should be “an” instead of “and”.  Final Thoughts: I liked the main character. She knew what her job was and why it was important to her family, but she also wanted to do more, and no doubt she will, in the following chapters. There were some lovely descriptions as well. Overall, I thought this was a good start to the story. ** Image ID #2153781 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 12/09/2024 @ 9:09am EST