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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4762671
Review #4762671
Viewing a review of:
 Phases  [E]
Drift and Notitia are thrown into the future, where they meet friends, as well as enemies.
by IndigoFlame
Review of Phases  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi IndigoFlame,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of confusion and anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering why they are only robots in the city in which the speaker finds herself. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a girl who ends up transported into the future and a city filled with nothing but robots. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. The speaker comes across as a real person, and the robots seem to be just like robots should be. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1) The streets are filled with robots.
Not. Humans.-Should read "The streets are filled with robots, not humans."

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.

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