Hi soliloquy

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion.


Positives

I'm really impressed with the way you were able to pack so much information and context into so short a piece of writing. You managed to give the reader a complete picture of the protagonist's perspective and emotions in only a few hundred words, and that's not easy to do!


Suggestions

There were quite a few technical errors and typos in the piece, from the wrong word tense ("admire" instead of "admiration" in the first sentence), to improper capitalization (a lot of the "I"s in the piece are lowercase when they should be uppercase), to missing punctuation in contractions and elsewhere. A thorough edit to catch all the various typographical errors would help improve the readbility of the piece.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read and thought you managed to fit a lot into a comparatively short piece. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .