Hello, Itchybarn!

INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

You did a great job with this creative writing class assignment.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

I don't think I've seen this kind of essay / creative writing class assignment before, and now I'm surprised. It's really interesting and reveals a lot more about a person than I would have guessed.

I loved that some of the things that I presume you wish you could have done involve gifts for your Mommy and closest friends, and also included adopting "sixteen more cats." I can totally relate to the desire to adopt a whole bunch of cats. They're such wonderful creatures to share our lives with.

So many of your (presumed on my part) wishes would be amazing! I would also love almost all of the things you mentioned, especially the house on Sanibel Island. I went there once and loved it. It would be so amazing to live there and spend time every day "finding conch shells every day and playing in the sand."

I loved that your thumbnail picture for this creative writing assignment is not only summery but could possibly have been staged on a Floridian Island.

I loved the ending. Probably the last line was my favorite because it made me relate to the leaf. Who knew it was even possible to relate to a leaf? You did!

I wonder if you also had an assignment of what you did last summer? I'd like to read that too. Though I just noticed that this was written in 2019 so you've had a few summers since then.

I thought the genres you selected were perfect for this creative writing assignment of yours.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness (and because of the rules of a review challenge I'm in), I have a suggestion to make your piece stronger. I'm having to dig deep for this as I really thought your piece was well done as it is though. So if you want to skip this part, no worries at all!


The only thing I can think of, and I'm not sure that it's really even needed, would be to insert a full line of space between your paragraphs. That extra white space can make things easier on a reader's eyes and brain, and can make it feel more inviting. Of course, this could have been a required format, so you might not have been allowed that. But that's the only thing I could think of. You did a great job.




CONCLUSION:
You have a conversational writing style and I greatly enjoyed reading your "What I Didn't Do Last Summer" creative writing assignment.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, sense of fun, and writing with the Writing.Com community!


May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler







Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .