Saul Corn [18+] A Trabble about the gunslinger "Reverend" Saul Corn. |
Greetings, NaNotatoGo!! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024" . First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked Great job with each of the three titled sections totaling exactly 100 words! But even more importantly, you've managed to do a great with this! I'm very impressed. I love the idea of this activity (after reading up on it) and feel it's a great challenge for any writer. Maybe once I'm not so busy (huh!), I'll give it a try myself! I love how you titled each of the three short sections. Your titles were great. The bold letters worked well, too, for emphasis. I personally, love the western genre. I was happy to see this! There's just something about the land, the language, the people, that make it unique. You've obviously got a flare for this genre. I enjoyed reading through this very much. You also had some nice imagery. Here's one of my favorites: The sun was lowering itself to the mesa; Saul galloped back into town. He tied both horses to the hitching post. Suggestions/Comments to Consider At first, I was a little confused, but mostly because I've never participated in "Drabble Activity 2024" and had to do a search for the activity so I understood what it was about, including the prompt. Prompt: A drabble trilogy (trabble) – 3 drabbles related to one another, and yet each able to stand on their own. It wasn't a huge deal, so no worries, but in the future, you might want to add this information at the end of your work. It just makes it easier for the reviewer. "Moma, I'm scared," --> I'm not 100% sure about the spelling of Moma here. It might be fine, but I've only seen it spelled Mama or Momma. Please disregard if I'm incorrect. "Is something the matter sister?" --> "Is something the matter, sister?" Everything else looked great! Final Thoughts Again, what a great activity for writers! I love how you've taken the viewpoint of three different characters and made it their own. Excellent work, Scarypotato! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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