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Review #4758980
Viewing a review of:
 Under The Sea Open in new Window. [E]
Flash fiction.
by L.A.Saxe Author Icon
Review of Under The Sea  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

Well, well… a rather darkly amusing tale of two men in a submarine. You seem to write with a wry British wit, describing the situation in a deadpan manner which would be rather distressing if it wasn’t obviously an absurdity.

You’ve brought the situation together in a quick and simple way from beginning to end, though perhaps I see a bit of falter at the beginning where we are informed that the submarine sprang a leak, and the end, where we are told it simply ran out of oxygen. I guessed perhaps that Max’s banging on the side of the vessel made a hole in it. The revelation of the oxygen valve was a bit of a different take on the situation.

We are reminded of much more serious things by this flash fiction, with possible themes of the difficulties of human interactions in a restricted space (it reminds me of the Donald Barthelme story Game…) and the foolish hubris of men as they think they can plumb the merciless ocean depths unscathed.

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices, and if you remember the prompt you wrote it for and whether it won or not, that would be a fun detail to add to it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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