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Review #4753857
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi angel Author Icon,

This review was written on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.

Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group with which they are affiliated. These are only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer, and they are given solely for the purpose of being helpful.


What I liked:

*Bulletv* This poem is short and to the point. I like how you state multiple times that people can love you or hate you, but it will make no difference to who you are. I admire that because, sometimes, it is hard to stay true to yourself when faced with the opinions of others. So, I like your attitude.

*Bulletv*I love your image of standing tall "like a statue." This unbending, unbreakable image fits with the tone of the poem really well.

*Bulletv* I really like the last line, where you write, "Love me or hate this who i am and i not ashamed." (Although, I think you missed the word we after hate.)


Suggestions:

As free verse, it is up to you whether your use punctuation or not. However, the general concensus is you either use it, or you don't. So, having each line punctuated, and using periods at the ends of the lines, but then having lower case Is in some instances doesn't quite fit. Also, in some places you have used capital Is, and I wasn't sure why you have only used lower case sometimes. And, actually, as you are stating your case for having belief in yourself, I would capitalise the pronoun always. Because it makes more of a statement. Additionally, I think you have a typo where you write the botax. I think it should be botox. One final thing, and I know I'm being a little picky; I didn't feel like I know you after reading this. The whole poem is telling your reader that you are yourself, and you are not ashamed of that, but you don't really tell us who you are. Does that make sense? I wanted to know you because I like your attitude.


Parting comments:

This is a great poem. It delivers a statement, and I really like the sentiment. Nice work.

Choconut
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