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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753533
Review #4753533
Viewing a review of:
 Winter's Ghost  [E]
Well, the calendar says Spring has sprung.
by Lou-Here By His Grace
Review of Winter's Ghost  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Tulipp* Greetings, Lou-Here By His Grace! I am reviewing this because today is your 19th Writing.com anniversary. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* I sure connected with this, living in a state that could very well be described...

as the last days of winter stubbornly cling
in the harsh, piercing white light of dawn.


         *Bulletg* You include some wonderfully vivid visuals, such as An abandoned rusted swing idly sways and gales tumble shapeless winter ghosts.

         *Bulletp* My favorite line, however, is in the breath of a whispered breeze. Love, love, love that! *Smile*

         *Bulletb* Your poem flows nicely, and your rhyming is perfection! I enjoyed reading through the four quatrains, followed by a couplet. Excellent!


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         Stanza 2, Line 4: slowly, winds through *Right* slowly winds through Consider omitting the comma.
         Stanza 3, Line 2: long for sweet lemonade shade afternoons, *Right* long for sweet lemonade, shady afternoons, I'm actually unsure about this. You may have meant differently?


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         This is soooo good! I loved it. You are obviously a very talented poet. By the way, I browsed through your portfolio a bit and noticed you've done quite a lot of traveling through several states. I smiled when you mentioned Ajo, Arizona (we've been through there a few times!) But I did not notice Michigan! *Wink* If you ever travel through this state (where I live), I highly recommend checking out Pictured Rocks along Lake Superior! *Bigsmile* Just saying. *Wink*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/24/2024 @ 9:25am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753533