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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753301
Review #4753301
Viewing a review of:
 One Blonde Hair Open in new Window. [13+]
Dan's must comes alive due one little hair.
by Purple Holiday Givings Author Icon
Review of One Blonde Hair  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window.*CakeP*



Hello, Purple Princess!

INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
*Bulletg* Wow! You wrote a fantastic, romantic writer-themed flash fiction story.

*Bulletg* You kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

*Bulleto* Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! Yours was the post before mine this week in "I Write in 2024" so I'm here to do your review, and glad for it. It works out great when I'm ready to do my I Write and love the thing I'm supposed to review. *Bigsmile* I hope you enjoy this review as not only fulfilling a requirement for "I Write in 2024," but also as a celebration of your time here. I also hope you find the review uplifting.

*Bulleto* You engaged my senses and writerly (yeah, not a word, but it should be!) emotions as I read this flash fiction story of yours. The vanilla scent and blonde hair were nice touches. As a person with blonde hair, I probably appreciated it even more than the average person might, but I think it'd appeal to any writer and anyone with a romantic heart or love for romance.

*Bulleto* I hope it wins or won the round of the contest you entered it in.

*Bulleto* I loved that you made your story exactly three hundred words. You literally couldn't have used one more word and qualified, lol. Yet - every word matters. You also made great use of the prompt words and highlighted them (something judges appreciate!).

*Bulleto* I loved the whole story and the ending was my favorite part. So many possibilities!

*Bulleto* I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your writing / romance flash fiction story.

*Bulleto* I thought the writing and relationship genres you selected were perfect for this flash fiction story of yours.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness (and because of the rules of a review challenge I'm in), I have a couple little suggestions to make your piece stronger / stand out to more readers. I'm having to dig deep for these as I really thought your piece was well done as it is though, and neither one is about your writing, but more about gaining more readers / increasing visibility. So if you want to skip this part, no worries at all!

*Bulletb* I'd recommend adding a thumbnail picture, if your membership level allows that. It could gain you extra readers because pictures (and the extra color they tend to bring) are attention getting, so your flash fiction story might catch more potential readers' eyes on searches and portfolio scans. And, as a judge, though not for the contest you entered this in, if I'm having trouble deciding between two entries as winners, sometimes a photo can make the difference. It shows that little bit of extra effort.

*Bulletb* This one also isn't about your writing, but is meant just to help you possibly get more readers, and, should someone decide to nominate this poem of yours for a Quill award, could let you get included in an additional category. It's to change your "other" genre to something else. Perhaps love / romance? As the host of a review challenge I once entered says (I think it was Jody Schnujo but am not 100% sure):
"Genres help people find items to read/review and can increase your odds of being included in a Newsletter (because your item was spotted by a Mod looking for genre items) or even increase your odds of winning "The Quills" (because it can be entered into multiple genre categories for additional chances to win)."

The Quill Awards are a big deal here, as you surely know and appreciate. It's a great honor to be nominated, I think, and your odds increase with more people viewing and liking your flash fiction story.

Also, I don't think anyone ever searches for "other" things by genre? But probably they do search for romance and love. *Smile*

*Bulletb* These are just my opinions and suggestions. Feel free to take what serves you and ignore the rest. I really do mean well and wish you every success. *Smile*



CONCLUSION:
*Bulletv* You have a great writing style and I greatly enjoyed reading your flash fiction story.

*Bulletv* Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, spirit, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler





*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*




Super Neat Present from Super Power Reviewers Group. Thank you, Maryann and everyone!



Positive Hearts
*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews GroupOpen in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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