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 Review #4752212 |
The Last Train Ticket  [13+] Tanner inherits a train ticket.  |
| (4.0)  My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORYTanner inherits a train ticket from his late great Uncle, but there's more than meets the eye. He just has to figure it out.  WHAT I LIKEDMaybe there's a reason the ticket was in a frame. The story plunks down several clues and the reader must piece them together. I liked it because the story made you think as a reader.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the third person limited from Tanner's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThe dialogue accents the narration. DESCRIPTIONSThere's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "It was a small rectangular, paper object, faded orange in colour." It's a simple description, and it's easy to picture the ticket in the reader's mind, but, for me, reading with a more critical eye, it's almost too simple. There's something up with this ticket. SETTINGTIME: modern day? PLACE: Uncle Gregory's mansion mostly This is something that is clarified for the reader. CHARACTERSTanner Tanner pays his respects and gets more than he bargained for.  MECHANICSI did not spot any puncutation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for spelling. I think I spotted Gregory mis-spelled. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThis story was written for the Writer's Cramp and had a 1K word limit. I thought the story did a good job with the word limit and used a good economy of words. The title is the prompt which fits the story. The opening intrigues the reader. An interesting story that could be the seed of a longer story.   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"  An Angel Army Review:
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You responded to this review 05/16/2024 @ 4:44pm EDT