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Review #4752045
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Tangible Memory Open in new Window. [E]
A brief pause for the sake of nostalgia and truth.
by Robert 'BobCat' Author Icon
Review of Tangible Memory  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

That was a poignant story about a little toy car, and a lot more than that toy car. You wrapped the message neatly around a tale of a little boy who had a precious gift taken from him, a gift he still remembers well after many years, even how he could feel the weight of it in his little hand at the time. The gift was important for many reasons, some of which he didn’t even understand himself at the time, and when it was taken, there was nothing he could do about it. With the benefit of growing up, he could rationalise his brother’s behaviour, but it still hurt, even years later.

As this story is in the ‘personal’ genre, I assume this is a true story, and the image you have chosen for this item is probably how you remembered the little blue car to look. It was an interesting memory and you described it well, together with the joy of receiving the gift and the despair of losing it. I felt for the little boy in this story and wished that perhaps the brother had been joking and had only hidden the car.


*PenG* Suggestions:

This isn’t a new story and I don’t know if you’re still interested in editing it, but if you are, I noticed a few small errors you might want to fix:

my hand has not forgot.
“forgotten”

My brother summoning his entire mean-spirited older-than-you attitude explained how he…
I think you need a couple of commas here, one after “brother” and the second after “attitude”.

the cars fate
“car’s”


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I was curious as I was reading about the little blue car how it related to your opening paragraph. You started and ended the story talking about loneliness and how we avoid it, for example by attaching emotions to items like the little car. I thought this was very well done, and it rounded off the story.




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