Bunker Kitty [13+] In a post-nuke survival Bunker, a widower gets a strange visitor... |
Greetings and welcome to writing.com! Wow, what a precious story. A man and his scientist wife and an underground bunker and a cat and a nuclear apocalypse. I can’t help wondering if the cat was the spirit of Heidi returned to let James know that the world outside had somehow been renewed after so many decades. It fits, in a gently humorous way. I love how tastefully it’s written; one never knows what to expect of someone’s writing style, and this sci-fi type of stuff reminds me of The Martian, which I happened to read years ago because someone left it in a rented room. The Martian was incredibly crafted, brilliant - but I hated the style! The MC had such a crude sense of humor, and every other word was a “bleep!” Those little stylistic details really get on my nerves. Along those lines, I was waiting for some kind of dark twist or general unpleasantness, and found nothing of the sort. You’ve built a touching story of love, loss and hope with a cool backdrop that has just enough realistic details. I can’t help being a bit curious about the macabre detail of body disposal; it must have been heartbreaking to add Heidi to the incinerator when her time had come. I’m glad he only had a month of suffering before the cat showed up. I love the background that gets incorporated with his memories of life above and the automatic response ingrained during childhood. It’s a very well crafted story. The end has lots of potential for a sequel, or you could leave it the way it is. I’ll make a couple of formatting suggestions that I tell nearly everyone around here: size 4 Verdana font ensures readability and compatibility across devices, and your genres could be tweaked a little to make it easier to find the story when browsing and also to ensure as many opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award as possible (drop by the port of Lilli 🧿 ☕ for everything you might want to know about our Quills ) I might suggest using “Sci-fi” instead of “Contest Entry,” which is a dud genre. Also, I think “Drama,” “Relationship” or “Thriller/suspense” might be more suitable as a primary genre than “Comedy,” which for paranoid fussbudgets like me, hints at some cheap crudeness lurking in what I’m about to read. (Can’t always trust people’s self-ratings, and along those lines I might suggest making this one 13+ because of the references to death and destruction.) I really enjoyed reading this. Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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