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Review #4747509
Viewing a review of:
The Stroll  [ASR]
Even for Soul collectors, a mother's love is eternal!
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ
Review of The Stroll  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Review of The Stroll by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ

An interesting take on life and death, this one. That we should be cajoled into death is a thought that requires some pondering. Although I can certainly accept that a mother's love for the child is so strong that a fierce fight is required to persuade her to abandon her responsibility.

The story is well told and progresses smoothly fom beginning to end, the final paragraphs being like an epilogue to explain what happened and to tie up a few loose ends. I did find a couple of things that could be improved but nothing major. I'll list them below:

"the peculiarly attractive shop" It doesn't tell us anything about why it's attractive.
The word "peculiarly" is the narrator's opinion and we learn nothing from it. The sentence would probably be better without it.

"The door seemed to open with barely a touch..." Seemed to open? It either opened or it didn't. Perhaps you were hoping to add to the rather dazed feeling she's had as she walks around the mall, but this doesn't really help.

Apart from that, it's a fine little tale with an original suggestion for our understanding of the end of life in the tail. Very enjoyable

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