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 Review #4747334 |
 |  | SMS  [E] scary story  |
| (4.5)   I hope you find my comments helpful. Please use this link to see how I rate an item."Comment-In-A-Box" Happy WDC account anniversary. Here's hoping for many more! Your opening paragraph pulled me into the story. Moving into a hew home and receiving a mysterious gift is a great way to begin this story. While Caitlyn assumed it was a late-arriving wedding present from a friend, I got the feeling that it was something much different than that. It's what made me want to read further. Your descriptions of the story world are well done. I could easily 'see' the new home, and I especially liked these descriptions of the pool: The water was as still as a sheet, not even a ripple, giving it the appearance of black marble. This resonated with me because like Caitlyn I have a pool in my back yard and I'm sure I'll think of these descriptions when I look at it. Your descriptions of the cold breeze, especially when it wraps around Caitlyn's ankle gave me the shivers. The descriptions are perfect for this type of story. Well done! The dialogue taking place between Caitlyn and Jane definitely sets the stage for what is to come. I only wondered why Marc's sister said he died in an accident when in actuality his death was due to an overdose of sleeping pills, especially since Jane knew it was because of his depression over losing Caitlyn. It might be more realistic if Jane appears to be angry or accuses Caitlyn of being responsible for his death. It's spooky the way you ended the story. Jane still lives in the house, watches television, and sends and receives SMS messages. That gave me goosebumps. Well-written, interesting, and it fits the horror genre perfectly. Thank you for sharing your writng. Bikerider ps And, ah, no, I'm not sending your my cell number: no strange, mysterious asterisk messages please! Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 10/23/2024 @ 1:43am EDT