It's been a while since I've read erotic poetry and, no surprise, this poem of yours is excellent. The language choice and structure are both top-notch and you did a great job of depicting a vivid, sensual scene clearly and elegantly. I particularly liked the last stanza, which did a great job of conveying a bittersweet emotion; both sadness at the narrator having to leave, as well as the excitement and promise of what's potentially to come.

The only thing that I thought could potentially be improved in this piece, in an albeit minor way, is the pacing. Some of the lines are quite long and complicated, and I found it slowed down the read considerably as I tried to get through all the information presented in each line. I'll concede that the intention might very well have been for this piece to be a slower and more languorous pace, but if that's the case, I think the stanzas that are highlighting the excitement and pleasure of the moment could be shortened a bit to really play into the energy of the eroticism.

Overall, this was a really great, incredibly vivid poem which, coming from you, is no surprise at all. Thanks for the great read, in a genre of poetry I haven't read in a while!