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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747083
Review #4747083
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Review of Ashes and Embers  Open in new Window.
Review by Jayne Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!


Hello, Warped Sanity!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This a deeply personal poem of growth and pain.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
The free verse style suites the narrative of the poem. I can't really see any other form suitable for the topics and emotions covered. I'm sure it can be done, but I think it would some of the raw emotion if it was constrained to meter or form.

*Checkb*Content:
You have an excellent use of season metaphor and passage of time to indicate your emotional state. The poem reads exceptionally well, and I found no spots where I stumbled or had to regain the flow. A few spots were jarring, but I believe that was the intention and not a flaw of the writing.

Your writing is poignant, capturing the realities of life and its transformative nature. It feels personal; it's almost like we're watching someone talk to themselves, only we shouldn't be there. It's funny when a poem makes you want to apologize to it: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in here. It's a mark of deep and introspective writing. It's also a sign the reader has come across a poem that other writers don't explore in the complete depth and breadth available to them.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. I think your use of exclaimation marks is exceptional. They aren't overused, and where they are used is perfect. Although the content is dense, it's accessible with high readability, and should appeal to a wide audience.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
The vivid imagery is sure to invite reader to examine their own journeys and explore their own resiliance and what it means to remain accept painful moments as they come, and how to reflect on them as we age.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne Author Icon*Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.


The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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