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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746879
Review #4746879
Viewing a review of:
TAKE YOUR PARTING GIFTS ON THE WAY OUT! Open in new Window. [13+]
Raising daughters is no easy task. Be prepared for high drama and laughs along the way.
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, the drama of parenting daughters. You have captured the weirdness and frustration of such without being too personally specific, and given us a bright idea to help our own families out in such a way by preparing them for the inevitable growing up moment.

It’s really a very time honored thing to do, as evidenced by hope chests, dowries and other such things. Every family has a responsibility to set their daughters up in the right direction and provide love and support, up to a certain point, and it’s good to know your kids turned out ok and appreciate all the effort that went into their upbringing. As a daughter, I know the drama all too well, having caused plenty of havoc and mayhem in my day *Laugh*

Your narrative is clear, showing and telling without delving into dialogue or play-by-play that could slow it down or appear too fictionalized. We see a mother who wants the best for her girls and desires to avoid conflict in the most productive way possible.

I would definitely suggest using Size 4 Verdana font here, but aside from that I don’t see anything wrong. The mention of that French card game at the beginning is nifty; I had to google that real quick as I was reading. Perhaps a word count at the top would be a good idea so we know what we’re getting into.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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