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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745746
Review #4745746
Viewing a review of:
Dragonstone Tablet Open in new Window. [E]
Gervic's GoT challenge responses
by GERVIC Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "A Story :: More than Meets the Eye" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon Review


Story: More than meets the eye
Windell discovers a magic wand with a promise of untold beauty. He makes his wish to look more appealing, more like Zeph. He finds everything about Zeph intriguing. Going to a school that day proved to be a one-eighty for him, as he finds he's suddenly noticed by his peers, Zeph in particular.

Spelling/Grammar/Issues: {e;thumbsupl}

Description/emotion: It was easy to connect with Windell and his insecurities about himself, as we tend to dwell on what we deem the bad parts of ourselves instead of all the positives. Vibrant eyes and an easy smile take over Windell's appearance noticeably. With the magic wand and how Zeph jumps right in after Windell arrives at school, his heart soars, though he knows time is ticking. As the boys walk him from school, the fear in Windell, knowing the magic is wearing off is painful.

Overall: A story about learning to accept oneself and see past our appearance regarding matters of the heart. Great job with the prompt. Usually, writers tend to go for monetary items, and you go in the opposite direction of that. I liked your characters and knowing that Zeph had seen Windell all along, even though Windell hadn't realized that.




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