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Review #4745695
Viewing a review of:
Deserted island  [ASR]
Friends find the unexpected during their dream vacation
by Maryann
Review of Deserted island  
Review by Tiggy in Antigua
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

This started as a beautiful, tranquil story but then turned to something rather more frightening. I didn’t think for a moment that it was just a happy tale with lovely scenery and a few friends enjoying the sunshine, and then they would all go home and tell their work colleagues about the wonderful time they had, but I honestly had no idea where this story was going to go. If anything, I probably would have guessed there was some monster that lived on the island, or at least a wild animal that would kill them one by one. But it wasn’t that kind of tale, and the plot took me by surprise, in a good way. Although the story wasn’t new, considering the current state of the world it didn’t even seem particularly far fetched.

I liked how you introduced the characters straight away, first by name, and then you filled in their personalities as the story developed. You set the scene well and I found it easy to see the beach in my mind, and you included lots of little details that brought it to life, like how they felt the powder soft sand beneath their feet The dialogue was realistic and I could actually imagine the characters’ conversations in a movie.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was beautifully written and you obviously took great care not only with your word choices but also with making sure that it was error free. The only issue I noticed was that you switched tense a few times, for example in this sentence, still danced on her tip toes when she gets excited where it should be “she got excited”.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

The ending worked, for me. I thought leaving it where you did, with that question mark at the end, was a perfect open ending where the readers were left to ponder what would happen next. There was a chance that Ken wouldn’t return for the friends, and even if he did, it might actually be better for him to stay rather than the others leaving the island. While the rest of the world had blown itself up, their little bit of paradise was still intact, and at this point I remembered the opening few paragraphs where you described how well Ken had set it all up with shelter and supplies. I like stories that make me think about different outcomes, and I really enjoyed the read!




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