"The Iron Bank of Braavos"  "Game of Thrones" 

Happy WDC Anniversary!

My name is Angelica, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sublime Paradise Chapter 1

First Impression: Unknown being is speaking in the beginning. It is lonely. It doesn't have any feelings of the wet grass, yet it feels lonely. Then it thinks of its brother. The words its brother said to it. Time passes by and it has wandered a forest. There it encountered something large and white with gashes on the side. It wanted to save the thing. Later on the reader discovers this POV is from the POV of a human being. But it's a mystery in the beginning. Then it switches to the POV of the White Beast, the one the girl saved its life. The white beast couldn't believe it was alive. Then it realized the presence of a human. It loved to fly. Shiro introduced itself. Then she said her name. As it wanted to go somewhere it offered a ride and she accepted, hesitantly. As it carried her in the air it noticed its heart beat fast. It only knew her for a short while.

Great details throughout the story and good use with the POV switching. I can assume it was the human discovering the white beast hours earlier in the first POV and then the white beast, which calls itself a wind demon, in full recovery mode after the human has helped it in the second POV. Great realism.

What needs your attention: No spelling or grammar errors found.

What part I liked best: The white beast, Shiro, is healthy enough to fly and carry her as if nothing had happened earlier.

Overall impression: This is just the beginning of a longer story. Good start to it. Getting to the action part of healing the white beast and then the results: a full recovery enough to be able to fly and carry her. She must have been concerned for the injuries it had. Reason for her hesitation. Next chapter would show if it made its destination or not. Good job and keep up the good work!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

What does the Fox say?????

Listen Carefully

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .