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Review #4745511
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Second Chance Open in new Window. [13+]
A chance sighting in the park makes the last fifteen years a lie.
by Mara ♣ McBain Author Icon
Review of Second Chance  Open in new Window.
Review by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!



Hello, Mara ♣ McBain Author IconMail Icon}!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This story does a great job of entwining emotional depth with suspense, creating a compelling tapestry of love, loss, and redemption.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title is a bit generic, although it does fit the story. The description is much stronger and promises an engaging mix of mystery and emotional discovery. It's used exactly how it should be (like a miniature book blurb), drawing readers in with the allure of unresolved pasts and new beginnings.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
The story hooks the reader from the outset with vivid descriptions and a mysterious encounter. The unfolding story, which is intricately plotted, maintains suspense and engagement throughout. The revelation scenes are paced perfectly, revealing just enough to keep the reader guessing while driving the story forward toward its climactic reunion.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
The characters feel authentic. There is a rich emotional landscape with profound grief and a flicker of hope, but also with an equal measure of intrigue and vibrancy. The dialogue between characters is intense and realistic. However, while the dialogue is generally strong and effective, some lines could be refined to be less expository. Simplifying or splitting complex dialogues could enhance readability and impact.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The story is well-composed and has a keen eye for detail and narrative flow. The use of vivid, descriptive language enhances the story's atmosphere, pulling the reader into the scenes with effective imagery and action. Sentences are structured to maximize impact, particularly in moments of high emotional stakes.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
The story’s depth and the characters’ resilience make it a memorable read that underscores the complexities of life and love. Great work.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon*Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.



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