%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4745321 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW This is a review for "Invalid Item" from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  THE STORYA man's voice whispered into a phone receiver: "Tonight she dies," but the person on the other end is sure it's not for her.  WHAT I LIKEDI liked how the story flowed. It was easy to read and grew the tension well regarding the mystery.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the first person by a female narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThere's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. DESCRIPTIONSThere's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "One of the ways that serial killers and other criminal types hid bodies was to feed them to the cute farm animals because their razor sharp teeth would ensure that nobody was able to find them." -- It's a great description using a good economy of words to tell what happens to a victim without being overly graphic. SETTINGTIME: contemporary setting 80's or 90's PLACE: urban setting This is something that isn't especially clarified for the reader. If anything, hardly anyone uses a "classic" phone with a receiver, so I would clarify that a little as I thought the story would take place in the 80's or 90's. CHARACTERSFemale narrator After hearing an accidental threat, she goes looking for the police.  MECHANICSI did not spot any punctaution mistakes. I might suggest spelling out "OK" as "okay" in creative writing. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThe title fits in well with the story. The opening hooks the reader right away. If anything, I was a little confused near the ending and who the wife, ex-wife was? Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen  }
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You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 11:20am EDT