%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4744945 |
 | The Road Less Travelled  [E] A young woman on a trip finds herself at a cafe that serves advice along with their coffee  |
| (4.0)| Hallo Detective ! I will be reviewing your work "The Road Less Travelled" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: Probably written for a contest - word count made obvious at the end of the story - this tells of a young woman's decision to take a journey and what she discovers in a small cafe that could change her life. Pluses:Well, this story made me want to pack up my bags and go hunting for this lovely cafe you've so wonderfully described in your story.  You've done a great job setting up and allowing the reader to picture this safe haven for our main character who seems to be at a crossroads at the moment. This is a trip she decided to take on her own despite her mother's disapproval, and from that line alone, it's clear that the relationship between them is quite strained. I think that comes full circle with the last bits of the story, where the advice given, all relates to the character finding who she truly is by not being afraid to take chances. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >> Just a formatting issue between the first and second paragraphs. Need to be separated as just looks like one very long chunk of a paragraph at the moment. >> For Susie, it was the best way to spend the summer before collage. (college) >> with a drink, a meal, desert (dessert), a book, >> “Good afternoon, miss. ('Miss' - should be capitalized as she's being addressed in this way - a 'title' if you will) >> The cashier rang her up and picked a book up from the fantasy section. (The use of both words sounds a bit redundant. You don't need the 'up' after book.) >> and a number, telling her that her number would be called (that word 'number' repeats quite a bit in that section. You could re-write that section to '...and a number, telling her it would be called...') >> the cord around the book was a small envelop. (envelope) >> Susie opened the envelop (envelope) >> The note read,” Don’t let (punctuation error - wrong place for the closing dialogue quotation marks)    Thanks for sharing this lovely short piece with us. It was a pleasure to read. Keep on writing!   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/14/2024 @ 8:37pm EDT