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Review #4744326
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Missing you Open in new Window. [13+]
A lonely dialogue with Barb... (Rotten Leaves Magazine)
by Ben Langhinrichs Author Icon
Review of Missing you  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

Even before Rick referred to Barb in the past tense, it was clear that she wasn’t really there. I loved the way you did that, with the italics and the speech marks. I mean, it could have been that she was on the phone, which would have made sense at first when she said she was there, as if the line had gone dead for a moment or something like that. Maybe she was on a long trip somewhere and he simply missed her, like the title said. But it wasn’t that simple. It was actually quite brilliant, the way you slowly revealed what had happened to her, and then what he was really trying to tell her, that he was going to join her soon. It would have been quite romantic until that point, but then you added an extra twisty twist that made it sinister.


*PenG* Suggestions:

Can’t think of a single thing I would suggest here. There were obviously no spelling or grammar errors - I assume from the brief description that this story has been published so I would expect it to be perfect. Despite the tale being so short, the characters were well rounded and their conversation sounded very natural.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I’m sure you've figured out by now that I really liked this story. My favourite part was when he reminded her of the old joke, when they used to shout “We’re in the car!” when she wanted them to get ready, and she (and the readers) suddenly understood what was going on. It was nicely done, but it was really just the icing on the cake because the whole story was well written and very entertaining.




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