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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744283
Review #4744283
Viewing a review of:
One Busy Night in Chicago  [18+]
1930's Chicago,-- Back Street Private Detective, a Girl and a Gangster
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ
Review by Jayne
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones review!



Hello, Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ! Well, I figured you'd had enough of me telling you how vivid the imagery is in your poetry and how much I enjoy wolves, so I thought I'd tackle one of the longer pieces since I know they're hard to get reviewed.

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
You can never go wrong with a classic noir!

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
The opening of the story plunges the reader into the classic noir scene of a gritty office, a desperate dame, and the looming threat of violence. It picks up on the distinct noir tone and voice, setting the stage for a suspenseful and urgent narrative. The early stages of the plot promise action, mystery, twists, and turns, and the story delivers.

The setting of a dark and gritty Chicago and the concept of the city's darker underbelly ground the story with a sense of place. The sequence of events offers the dramatic tension expected from a noir and leads to a satisfying conclusion.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
The characters are perfect archetypes but well-rounded and believable. The backstory hinted at complexity and danger, and the dialogue is sharp (as is to be expected in noir). Their interactions feel natural and dynamic.

All of the characters gain a bit more depth as the story progresses, and even with that growth, they remain consistent with the genre and, more importantly, with the narrative you've laid out.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
You've used excellent word choices and sentence structure. It fits the hard-boiled noir perfectly. The story flows well, and any descriptive details are well balanced with action and dialogue, so the story maintains a brisk pace.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This is an excellent read for fans of the noir/mystery/detective genre. Great work.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim



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