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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743882
Review #4743882
Viewing a review of:
 Over My Dead Body Open in new Window. [E]
Mom muttered these words once too often.
by SandraLynnSprinkles Slingin' Author Icon
Review of Over My Dead Body  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello SandraLynnSprinkles Slingin'! This review is given on behalf of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Reading* From a woman who loves to speak in cliche sentences, leaves her last cliche on her own tombstone. The narrator, her child reflects back at the many different cliches spoken over the years from her mother. But even she is not expecting the words inscribed on her tombstone.

Title and Description - You title grabbed my attention and your description urged me to read on.

Character - The daughter's emotions come through loud and clear with your words. Her sadness is palpable over the loss of her mother.

Setting - The setting is an intimate one of mom and daughter. Both before the mom passed, and after.

What I Liked Best - The revealing of the tombstone. *Laugh*

Below are a few suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Bookstack3*
I heard her gasps for air.

I heard her gasp for air.


*Peng* to my Mother she


Comma needed after Mother


*Notepady* and allergy


Comma needed after allergy


*Pencil* over night


overnight


*Books4* current tragedy,


No comma needed.


*Peng* finger nails


fingernails


*Tackr* once believe


once believed


*Bookopen* Yes please.


Comma after Yes


*Penr* Finally the moment

Comma after Finally

Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.

*Heart* Tracey

"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
House Lannister image for G.o.T.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/11/2024 @ 2:43pm EDT
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