The Truth About Thantia [18+] Some Leaders were the same. They would do whatever it took to stay the leader. |
Disclaimer:The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. I enjoyed your story very much. The characters are all distinct and unique with clear personalities. The intrigue was weaved throughout the story which drew me in. I was excited to keep reading to find out what happened next. It was fun to follow Karrena and Vancent's investigation into Thantia, gather evidence and then revel that evidence, bringing an end to both the former leader’s campaign and criminal actions. The pieces of worldbuilding sprinkled throughout the story help to bring the story to life. The terms used were easy to understand and were clear enough to keep readers from getting confused. I particularly enjoyed the partnership between the two lead characters. They work well together, even if Karrena wasn't particularly thrilled about being assigned a helper/assistant. Though there were no obvious errors in terms of grammar and punctuation, etc., there is a place in the third section when Karrena is talking to her boss and he's explaining why Vancent has been assigned to her. There's a slight disconnect between parts of Doggan's dialogue. The lines,“I know how you feel about having a Helper. Especially a Help like Vancent, but you need Vancent. This planetary tour of Thantia is almost over, and you still haven’t found anything against her.", and,“If anyone can find out what’s going on with Thantia, it’s Vancent. Don’t get me wrong. You are still in control. Vancent is only there to help you.”, are both clearly being said by Doggan ,but the lines are split. It makes that bit of dialogue a bit disjointed. Combining the two lines would clear up that slight snarl up. Overall, this is a well-written sci-fi political drama with well-thought-out characters, an interesting plot, and good worldbuilding. Good work.
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