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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743422
Review #4743422
Viewing a review of:
Soul Mates Open in new Window. [13+]
Second Place in WDC Inspirational Quote contest.
by Hyperiongate Author Icon
Review of Soul Mates  Open in new Window.
Review by 👼intuey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Hyperiongate ! This review is given on behalf of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Reading* This is a wonderful story of a brilliant mind who goes through the loss of his wife in a fire. His wife was his soulmate, and he's finding it hard to go through life without her.

After her death, they find each other again. Though he can hear and see her, no one around them can. But he doesn't let that bother him. He wants to get to her as soon as possible, and it's her aim to help him do so.

Your story is well written with strong characters whose love for each other strongly comes through. Neither can live without the other. Your setting is vivid and allows the reader to envision each scene as they read.

I enjoyed the creative twist toward the end. It was sad how long he spent there, but at least he was locked into a world of his own.

The closing is nicely done. The addition of the students just seeing him moments before is a nice addition.

Below are a few minor suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Peno*
unheard and unsave

Comma needed after unheard


*Books3* envious of anyone that could


anyone who could


*Notepady* food and even sleep


Comma after food


*Pencil* years went by, the pages


went by, and the pages


*Tack* He felt surprise


He felt surprised


*Bookopen* Atop his head, hair


Arop his head, his hair


*Penb* Cheeks sagged

His cheeks sagged


*Notepady* four of his institutes


his institute's


*Pencil* Fearing the worse,


Fearing the worst,


Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.

*Heart* Intuey


"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
House Lannister image for G.o.T.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/11/2024 @ 12:26pm EDT
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