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Review #4742440
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The Tale of Arnison Wake Open in new Window. [13+]
Who knows what kind of fate we may have. Revenge is better served, than received.
by Danial Lucas Author Icon
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Danial Lucas Author Icon,

Happy Anniversary Month! This review is a part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting poem! It tells the story of a mystery - a poet has been murdered, but who did it? And why are they no longer in their coffin?

I know from experience that it's not easy to tell a story in poetic form. Especially not if you want to stick to a certain rhythm and rhyme. Poetry is always like a puzzle of words, each needing to be placed perfectly in order to create the most beautiful picture, and inserting characters and motives makes it even trickier. You have done a good job here - you did get me to wonder what happened. Who did it, and how, and why wasn't he there?

The ending was surprising, and whilst you have listed the poem in the horror/scary genre, where it does fit, it made me smile. Because it's clever.

On the technical side of things this poem reads well. I had no trouble with its rhythm and flow. There's some good rhyming going on. I was grateful that you opted for full punctuation, as this assists the overall clarity and reading experience. And you perfected this by allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. Again, well done!

Suggestions:

I only have one suggestion, dear author, and it's a minor one:

Stanza 1:

*Snow2* by his brides belief, in a murderer's deed.

'brides' should be bride's. Also, I don't think you need a comma in this line.

My Rating:

This is a clever, well-written poem. It made for a good read.

I did have a suggestion regarding punctuation, but it's only minor. Therefore, I will still give this item a rating of 5 out of 5. It deserves it.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

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