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Review #4742427
Viewing a review of:
Honouring James  [ASR]
My personal enlightenment.
by sindbad
Review of Honouring James  
Review by Lornda ~ Away ~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, sindbad


*Sun* I enjoyed reading your story! This is a touching story, and there's no doubt the ending will pull at everyone's heart. I liked the pace of the story and the characters were set-up perfectly at the beginning. It starts out like you're telling us an experience at a family gathering or over coffee about James. Way to go!

*Sun* I thought the pace was good, but I did stumble on a few things a long the way. I think the story would benefit from another read to catch any comma problems and cutting out any filler words, like 'well' and 'then' to name a couple. The ellipsis have to be fixed because there always only three dots. A couple of tips: Now that the contest is over, consider changing two of the genres. One is under 'Contest' and that is meant for someone hosting one. You'll get more people visiting you with a more popular genre.

*Sun* Overall, a good, emotional story, which took us on a road where we weren't sure what was going to happen with James. I thought the build-up to the end was done well, and again, the emotion was shown beautifully with James showing everyone who this boy was right now. I thought the little poem at the end was a nice touch. Keep up the great work!

*Swords* Lornda


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