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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+) For G.o.T. Activity #1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm

"Game of Thrones"  Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The ChatFirst Impression: Ooo, that title could be ominous, as in horror story ominous. As it happens, this is exactly what it is to a poor young boy. One minute I am reading about uncomfortable family members in a humid vehicle and then wham, they are at a hotel-side pool with Amy still not revealing how one word, chat, magically subdues her brother. Great suspense and lead in! Family car trips can be problematic and feel like a life sentence.What needs your attention: When describing the car window as being stuck half-opened you should substitute "to' for "it". As in "impossible to get it any lower." May I suggest "It shouldn't have been much of a surprise." Since Amy is reaclling the incident that had frightened her brother into compliance and it happened in the past it might be better to not refer to bribing Jack with ice cream tomorrow, Instead try 'the next day'. What part I liked best: Your descriptions are vivid and lifelike. Amy ogling buff male joggers. Jack fussing and whining trapped in the back seat of a hot car. The poolside confab with father and daughter. The reveal of just what "the chat" is to the reader is funny. Imagine cuddling your sobbing, frightened younger brother while threatening him at the same time with the possible return of his terror. Brilliant! Devious! Self-serving. Yes, she seems to possess the ticket to get away with a great deal... for now. There must be many 'things' parents are blissfully unaware of and they would make fantastic tales.Overall Impression: This is a compelling well written anecdote. It caused a few chuckles. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It was my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1887 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.