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Review #4742297
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello peanutbutter

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

I really like the sentiment in this piece. You did a great job of capturing the emotion of what it means to be a close friend to someone and to value a strong friendship. I think every reader wishes they had a friendship as strong and caring as the one depicted in this piece of prose. Good work!


*Penw* Suggestions

There are quite a few technical errors in this piece, including several typos (the word "possible" is misspelled as both "possaible" and "possable"), and a missing word and improper verb tense in the third line (I think it's supposed to be "But I have come into your life"?). There are also several places where there's missed punctuation, all of which leads to a difficult reading experience for the audience. Some revision is needed in order to correct the errors and present a smoother-reading piece to the audience so that they don't get hung up on the errors and can instead focus on the elegance and emotion of your underlying message.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a piece with a great premise and a lot of potential, but needs some significant revisions and proofreading in order to fine-tune the execution. I think you're off to a great start, though! *Smile*


Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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