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 Review #4742276 |
 |  | Honouring James  [ASR] My personal enlightenment.  |
| (5.0)| Hi sindbad  This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked:  Wow. This story is absolutely beautiful. It isn't only the people at the concert, or the social services workers, or even you, who is feeling teary-eyed by the end of it. I'm feeling quite emotional, myself. It's such a lovely story. James sounds like he was really good kid. His fingers must have been helped along by his mother's wings, and that helped to make them so light. I did have a question here. His mother said at the start of his lessons that she wanted to hear him play. But, she was deaf. How could she have known she would die the morning of his recital, so that she would be able to hear him play from Heaven? I think it's great the way you learned from your student. You learned the importance of self-belief, and also of never giving up on the things which are important to us. You could so easily have given up on James. I'm sure there are other pupils you have encouraged to follow other pursuits in your time as a music, and piano, teacher. I have to commend you on your portrayal of James. He shines in this story. He sounds like a lovely, caring boy. What I love the most about him is his lack of ability, but enthusiasm, nonetheless. This makes me want to reach out and protect him. Then, when he arrives at the recital, you say, " His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked as though he had run an egg beater through it." That made me smile. It endears James to your readers even more . You really do a great job with James. This makes it all-the-more sad when we get to the end, and you say James was killed in the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. That's so sad, especially as this story appears to be a true one.Suggestions: I have a few suggestions, all of which are grammatical. "The night of the recital came and the high school gymnasium was packed ..." - There should be a comma after "came." Also, " ...the students had been practicing and it showed." - There should be a comma after "practicing." And, "I have never heard you play like that James ..." - There should be a comma before "James" as well as after. There are also a couple of places where you have missed the line space between paragraphs. I would just check those out. Parting comments: I love how you say that James was not your progidy. Rather, you were his. He taught you a thing or two about how to live life and believe in yourself. That's such a lovely sentiment. It sounds like James left a lasting impression on you, and you have done a great job with telling us some of his story. Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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