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 Review #4742133 |
 | The best part of my day  [E] A summer morning is a terrible thing to waste.  |
| (4.5)| Hallo KS23 ! I will be reviewing your work "The best part of my day" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: Written for a prompt-driven contest, this short story follows the daily morning ritual of a jogger who allows us into a glimpse of his journey around his neighbourhood. We are introduced to not just the surroundings he encounters, but there's a subtle social commentary edged in there somewhere. Pluses:Phew! Even I'm exhausted after reading that!  If this piece was designed to get one to become motivated about running/jogging daily, guess it would work. Not for me though. I am as lazy as they come. Hah!However, I can truly appreciate the way this was written. First off, you used the prompts given quite well, and in this piece about a jogger's morning routine, you are able to give us an idea of his personality as well as the neighbourhood he calls home. From the description of each street - which in turn have their own personalities - to the visitors he encounters along the way. I particularly enjoyed all the animals he meets and the names he gives them; almost like they eagerly anticipate his arrival each day and welcome him with their chirps or barks. I liked the subtle distinction that was made between the rich and the poor just by the way the streets were designed (which does get one thinking actually). Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >>By the time I return (,) the club will be >>In an hour (,) the sun will ease over the distant hills >>He calls a greeting (,) and I return >>Seven minutes later (,) I'm back at my car tilting    Aside from my nitpicky little punctuation points, this was an enjoyable read, and again - could be a motivational poster for those who want to know just what should make them get up in the wee hours of the morning to go running around their neighborhood. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/05/2024 @ 2:55pm EDT