Hi debmiller1 -

This is a "Game of Thrones"  review.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I chose this piece because I found the description intriguing.

My opinion of said story/poem: A little more explanation about why he wouldn't be able to return to America would be helpful. As a naturalized citizen, he has the right to return, unless, you are referring to the Sudanese government not allowing him to return. I don't know anything about the Sudanese government, so I won't even hazard a guess as to why he wouldn't be allowed to return after being granted a work visa.

Even though this is a work of fiction the whys and wherefores do matter.

I know there are usually word limits for these short pieces, but some small details usually enhance a story, giving it a more realistic feel.

Next is the century plant. I think I heard of a century plant once, somewhere. So, of course, I had to go look it up. Not only have I heard of them, I've seen them! I just didn't know their name. Thank you for that.

In the seventh paragraph you state "every century planted bloomed once", I think you wanted "every century plant bloomed once".

Conclusion: Your story contained no spelling errors making it easy to read and you kept a good pace making it a joy to read. Well done!

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .