*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741865
Review #4741865
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by Lovina
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi dragonwoman -

This is a "Game of Thrones review.

*Staro**Starw* The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. *StarW**StarO*

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I chose this specific piece because of the title, anything to do with books, I'm on it.

My opinion of said story/poem: Cute and with a touch of comedy.

Two space aliens search for a codebook to decode a message only to find that the codebook needs a codebook. The description with the title says they will lose communications without the codebook, but the story has no such assertions. They only discuss the message coming in on an obsolete machine and that they can't read the message without the codebook.

In the second paragraph, you should add a comma after Naglar.

If Liburn did indeed handpick his second he did a poor job. That Naglar should be fired for insubordination or, at the very least, written up for insolence.

Good ending with just the right touch of irony.

I like that you gave them girly magazines. This little gesture adds a touch of realism and shows that men will be men no matter what planet they are from.

Conclusion: You never state their mission, and it isn't necessary to the story, but it could be important if you ever choose to expand on this story. Your two crazy aliens could have a future in a much larger story.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina

Image for Activity

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
Your work was rated using the guidelines from:
 Comment-In-A-Box  (E)
My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com.
#544247 by The StoryMistress


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/04/2024 @ 5:25pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741865