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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741287
Review #4741287
Viewing a review of:
 Worm Moon Open in new Window. [13+]
Writer's Cramp - 4-25 Contest
by Jtpete 1986 Author Icon
Review of Worm Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by Lornda Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, Jtpete 1986 Author Icon!


*Sun* I'm checking out the genre of Mystery today, and your item came up in my search! I see this was written for a the Writer's Cramp contest. You did well in weaving all the prompt words throughout to come up with an interesting story. The only thing I would suggest is to update your description to draw in more readers and include the Writer's Cramp link within the item. *Wink*

*Sun* I thought that this was an interesting concept. It starts out in the past to explain what they found, and then fast forwards to the present. For me, it started and stopped the flow by have two different scenes. I think having the whole story in the present would help ground the story and keep it to one or two characters. As for the part at the beginning, a little of that history can be brought in when they finally figure out where the necklace came from. I think it could've been expanded a bit but I know there's a restriction on the word count.

*Sun* Overall, I think it's a neat story! I think because of the topic, it would benefit the story by having more details. I enjoyed the description of the quartz necklace--it sounded so beautiful. It's one of those stories that has more to 'tell' us, so maybe one day you can expand on it! Keep up the great work!

*Swords* Lornda




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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/02/2024 @ 7:08pm EDT
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