Billy & Mandy Moon the Moon [E] A story based on a picture from Deviantart. |
"The Iron Bank of Braavos" "Game of Thrones" My name is Angelica, I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Billy & Mandy Moon the Moon First Impression: Billy and Mandy were camping out in Mandy's backyard at 5 years old. Then Mandy mentioned Dreamland and Billy wanted to go with her. Then Billy looked up at the moon and got the idea to show his behind. Mandy soon followed suit, claiming to make a third moon. After doing that for a little bit they stopped and the moon gained relief. Billy and Mandy thought they would like to do that again. Just some kids who just want to have some fun. Showing their behind to the moon was their idea of having fun in this instance. It's a naughty thing they wanted to do to have some fun, but they did it anyway. There weren't any parents around to supervise them. This is a believable action and something kids would do. They have such an imagination. The voices are natural and it was a cute read anyway. What needs your attention: No spelling or grammar errors found. What part I liked best: Mandy will show Billy how to get to Dreamland even if it's just going to sleep for her. Billy didn't forget the offer to go to Dreamland and was set to go there and she used that word as another way of going to bed and getting some sleep. Overall impression: Great details. I say it's just the right amount of details involved. Two children camping and having some fun is a cute idea. I can picture what kind of picture from Deviant got used to inspire this story. Billy and Mandy were up to being a bit naughty to the moon in the process. Their reactions to boredom is natural and just before bedtime too. Only Mandy is calling it Dreamland instead of bedtime. Cute story overall. Everybody is happy. Good job and keep up the good work! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What does the Fox say????? Listen Carefully My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|