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Game of Thrones  (13+) Closed until further notice... #456789 by Creeper Of The Realm

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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+) For G.o.T. Activity #1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm

A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos

Happy WDC Anniversary!

Hi Magnolia

My name is Megan, one of the sly foxes.

Title: Strawberry

First Impression: A little girl feeding ducks. Robots. Nanny Bot. A story with robots draws the reader in. This peeked my interest. I had to check this out and I was curious. Strawberry. I wondered how a strawberry would play into this story. I stepped in and started reading. I figured this would be a good story. I am here.

What needs your attention: Double space when you start a new line of dialogue so you don't run words and sentences into each other. The cone is $1,20. Shouldn't this be $1.20? Harpie Doll Nannie Bot. Is this another Nanny of the little girl Susie or the same Nannie? Why did the nanny turn into strawberry ice cream?

What part I liked best: Nanny Bot turned into strawberry ice cream. The little girl was eating chocolate ice cream and got all messy. The little girl feeding the ducks is cute.

Overall Impression: Was this outer space? Is this story on earth? Was it a crime to eat chocolate instead of strawberry? Well rounded characters and good dialogue. This holds the reader's interest. I was happy to read this.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work.