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Review #4741093
Viewing a review of:
 Djinn in the Box Open in new Window. [ASR]
Jake and Lauren buy a house that's quaint, but what they find in the attic ain't.
by IdaLin Author Icon
Review of Djinn in the Box  Open in new Window.
Review by 👼intuey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello IdaLin! This review is given on behalf of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.. Happy Anniversary! I look forward to seeing you in the halls of WDC!

*Reading* Well-written story of a couple who buy a new house, only to be surprised to find they are not alone.

Your story has a nice opening that kept me interested, and the plot urged me to read on. Your ending was strong and unexpected. A nice twist to the story. Well done! *Smile*

Your writing style on the setting was vivid. I could easily envision each scene as I read.

Your title drew me in and your description is perfect for the story, and made me want to read on!

You write the relationship between husband and wife really well. I found their conversations relaxed and realistic.

I do have a few suggestions below. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Bookstack*
streets and stopping in little shops and

streets, stopping in little shops, and

*Penv* To Lauren and Jake it looked inviting, and warm and friendly.

To Lauren and Jake, it looked inviting, warm, and friendly.

*Books3* she said, and then laughed.

She said, and swatted

No comma needed after 'said'.

*Pencil* well maintained

well-maintained

*Bookstack2* well-appointed,

No comma needed

*Peng* eaves.” Lauren said

morning.” Jake said

Commas are needed, instead of periods.

*booksopen* quarter inch band of gold,


quarter-inch band of gold (no comma)

*Penbl* They'd move everyhing

everything}

I hope the suggestions help. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it. *Smile*

*Heart* Intuey

"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
House Lannister image for G.o.T.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/05/2024 @ 11:39am EDT
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