This was an adorable—and for a moment—terrifying short story. It has sibling banter that's both comical and realistic, horror beats with one of the sisters being taken, and mystery in what exactly happened to the younger sister in the looming farmhouse past the strawberry fields.

The relationship between the two sisters is well-established and provides a strong emotional core to the story. Their interactions remind me of how I interacted with my younger brother. The older sister wants to show their mother that she's responsible while still maintaining her childlike nature. I also really like that she didn't hesitate to jump into action to save her younger sister. I've seen it with my own eyes, children can be some of the bravest souls. And I think it's because they have a strong sense of right and wrong. The world is still black and white and they haven't learned the dangers of the grey yet.

The character of Mr. Grumps is intriguing and his unexpected kindness at the end adds depth to his initially gruff persona. I also like that his real name is Mr. Crumps but the kids in the neighborhood—and I'm sure their parents, too, because kids repeat the things their parents say—call him Mr. Grumps because of his bitter disposition and unwelcoming nature. So to find him being a sweet old man that just wants people to enjoy his strawberries in the best way makes his character really redeemable. He's probably just an old, lonely man that misses human connection. And hopefully the girls can provide him with company like granddaughters.

The setting is also vividly described, especially the strawberry patch and Mr. Grumps' farmhouse, creating clear mental images for the reader.

The story could benefit from a more clear transition between Emma's decision to follow Maddie into Mr. Grumps' garden and her actual arrival at the farmhouse. The sudden shift in location was a bit jarring when I first read it. I hadn't realized she had left her backyard and I was suddenly at the farmhouse.

I'd also advise you you to consider adding more internal monologue from Emma to further develop her character and motivations, especially as she decides to confront Mr. Grumps. What is she feeling and thinking? Let us explore her thoughts and what's going on her mind.

The resolution also feels a bit rushed. Adding a bit more interaction between Emma, Maddie, and Mr. Grumps could enhance the emotional impact of the ending of story. I realize this was initially written for a contest and most likely had a restraint of word-limit but I think this story is worthy of standing on its own now. A small rework and focus on the pacing of the ending could really benefit this piece.