"The Iron Bank of Braavos"  "Game of Thrones" 

My name is Angelica, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: T.C.a.G. Ch1

First Impression:Sean was sleeping on the street. Then he noted the time that it was 7 p.m. So it was evening that he woke up from the noise of ambulance. Time the butcher closed shop. The butcher came out on cue and he stood in the entryway, expecting food. Instead, the butcher took him in and led him into a bathroom and gave him soap. So he washed and cleansed himself from all the dirt he picked up from living on the street. Then it was time for food. The butcher had cooked a hearty meal and gave him so much to eat as if he hadn't eaten for a long time. Then the offer for a place to sleep and a place to work was given in the end. He said thank you.

Sean is a homeless guy who was just given a place thanks to Gregory, the butcher. That makes me think that the butcher is a nice, friendly person who will soon be a boss. Sean's adventure is just beginning. I'm curious as to how it will turn out.

What needs your attention: The wording caused me to go back and reread a few times. Try adjusting your details a little bit to read more smoothly. Mainly in the beginning. Reading out loud will help catch the rough spots.

No spelling or grammar errors found.

What part I liked best: I liked the butcher in the story because of his generosity and Sean because of his thankfulness.

Overall impression: Sean is a thankful person despite being homeless and the butcher is a kind and generous person despite being poor. Even though the situation isn't that much better for Sean, it is definitely better than being on the street longer. I enjoyed this chapter and there definitely is more to it which I won't be able to know, but could guess that it'd be his adventure at starting a job under the butcher's care. The ending is solid. I would definitely continue reading the next chapter. Good job and keep up the good work!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

What does the Fox say?????

Listen Carefully

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .