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Review #4740949
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 The Basket Day Open in new Window. [E]
Flash Fiction
by Jacky Author Icon
Review of The Basket Day  Open in new Window.
Review by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon
"Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.          
Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
         Title:The Basket Day
         First Impression: This is a compact, quick-read story. In a limited word count you've presented everything a story needs. The narrator receives a disappointing Easter basket with scant treats in it and this causes them to question what happened. Then they plot to mitigate the damages and not complain to the parents. You raise an intriguing theory. Does one need to be good and well-behaved to earn the Easter chocolate? Anything is possible. Yes, perhaps Santa and The Easter Bunny collude. They both spy on children and decide their fates.          
What needs your attention: This is just my opinion, but you could have explained a bit more within this piece of writing and still have surpassed the three-hundred word limit. Just flesh it out a bit more. You use first person voice throughout, but then switch to using 'he' in the final sentence. This is not consistent. You could write " I didn't."
         What part I liked best: The guilt described in the search for the reasoning behind the meagre chocolate offering made me chuckle. What kid isn't aware of his possibly questionable behaviour ? Actions can never be do-overs. Will others dislike him, or think less of him? Will he be caught misbehaving? Will Santa and the Easter Bunny know of his shortcomings? This is believable. The mice remaining in the house for a year is amusing. It raises the idea that they absconded with the much anticipated goodies and enjoyed the illicit stash for a long time.
          Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It's been my pleasure.
         What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. ( 1869 characters )
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