%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4740878 |
 | The Tale of Arnison Wake  [13+] Who knows what kind of fate we may have. Revenge is better served, than received.  |
| (4.5)| Hallo Danial Lucas ! I will be reviewing your work "The Tale of Arnison Wake" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: This is a poem that tells of the fate of one Arnison Wake - a small town poet - who was found dead by mysterious circumstances. No one is sure of who is responsible and rumors with suspicions spread about the person(s) responsible for it. However, something strange is noticed as Arnison's grave is found unearthed which is soon followed by the discovery of the headless corpse of a fellow poet. Who could be responsible for these series of murders? And will the truth ever be revealed? Pluses:This was a story within a poem; from start to finish we are introduced to our protagonist - of sorts - who we discover is dead by 'the madness of fate'. Many believe that it is his lot, as a mere poet, to end up this way. However, someone disagrees with this notion and that is his wife. She is sure that there is someone behind it all. In the second stanza, the puzzling discovery of an empty grave, where Arnison was definitely buried in, leads some to believe that a miracle has happened; horrifying as it is. The third stanza expands on the mystery of the grave and casket: and the remnant of scratches from someone's two hands. With proof so profound, there never a doubt instead of the way down, they were burrowing out. Days go by and the mystery is yet to be solved; with alibis questioned and suspicions arising. It appears people are being wrongly accused until a stroke of fate leads them to a possible clue about Arnison's murderer. It is then that we are introduced to Ferguson Wynn, another fellow poet, whose life had come to an abrupt end; only in his case, there was no head to go with the body found on the outskirts of town. As expected, the town is abuzz with speculations on who could be responsible for it. Many believe that the missing Arnison, might actually be the culprit this time! To prove their theory, the last stanza states that Arnison's grave is visited again, and this time - to everyone's horror - there he lay with the head of his once friend, Ferguson Wynn, within his grasp. How is anyone to explain the events that have unfolded except to sum it up with the last two lines: For we can't comprehend, what our maker intends so it seems that the dead, may return for revenge. Perfect way to end such a dark piece. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. I wish I could be more versed in giving you pointers regarding rhyme and ryhthm. At first it seemed it was free verse, but I began to notice the pattern you were going for after the second and third reading of this. Would this be considered a ballad? Maybe you could enlighten me on this style of poety.  Only one nitpick of a typo was noticed below: >>by his bride(')s belief, in a murderer's deed.    Overall, this was an enjoyable dark/gothic poem. Thanks so very much for sharing and keep on writing!   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.