\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740866
Review #4740866
Viewing a review of:
 
Image Protector
What lurks beyond the flowers- Pt I Open in new Window. [18+]
Salt, flowers, a pond, crucifixes, a cradle, a garden, a train, and a handful of demons.
by elisabeth Author Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
Image Protector
FORUM
Game of Thrones Open in new Window. (13+)
Closed until further notice...
#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

 
Image Protector
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos.

Hi Elisabeth

My name is Megan, one of the sly foxes.

Title: What Lurks Beyond The Flowers

First Impression: Flowers. Mystery. Suspense. Demons. Looks like this story has something for everyone. A quiet place in the country. It seems peaceful and harmless but I know by the description telling about the story, that it won't be. I was curious. A nice letter of invite with good reflections. A room that is ready. A vacation in a nice location. I had to go forward and read more.

What needs your attention: Double space when starting a new sentence of dialogue or a paragraph. You called the one man a gent. I was thinking maybe use the word Gentleman. Was the house huge, fancy or run down? The land around it seems like it needs some help.

What part I liked best: The characters seem nice but spooky. I like that this takes place in the country. I like the idea of this story having a mystery and the main character is caught up in it.

Overall Impression: I got chills as I read this and I am asking what is the mystery? What happened next? Will something or someone jump out of the flowers? A good style and this holds the reader's interest. I felt like I was here. Good introduction.






My GOT Fox Image
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or/event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It has been my pleasure.








   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740866