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Review #4740866
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What lurks beyond the flowers- Pt I Open in new Window. [18+]
Salt, flowers, a pond, crucifixes, a cradle, a garden, a train, and a handful of demons.
by elisabeth Author Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Game of Thrones Open in new Window. (13+)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

 
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The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos.

Hi Elisabeth

My name is Megan, one of the sly foxes.

Title: What Lurks Beyond The Flowers

First Impression: Flowers. Mystery. Suspense. Demons. Looks like this story has something for everyone. A quiet place in the country. It seems peaceful and harmless but I know by the description telling about the story, that it won't be. I was curious. A nice letter of invite with good reflections. A room that is ready. A vacation in a nice location. I had to go forward and read more.

What needs your attention: Double space when starting a new sentence of dialogue or a paragraph. You called the one man a gent. I was thinking maybe use the word Gentleman. Was the house huge, fancy or run down? The land around it seems like it needs some help.

What part I liked best: The characters seem nice but spooky. I like that this takes place in the country. I like the idea of this story having a mystery and the main character is caught up in it.

Overall Impression: I got chills as I read this and I am asking what is the mystery? What happened next? Will something or someone jump out of the flowers? A good style and this holds the reader's interest. I felt like I was here. Good introduction.






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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or/event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It has been my pleasure.








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